Friday 9th January  23:35 pm Good Evening

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Nelson's Column October Boris v Jingjing 24th October 2008 The search for a mascot begins Remember ‘Goliath the Lion’? No, me neither. Apparently he was our mascot for Euro ’96, but even Google struggled to find him, an image search eventually revealing an overweight pound-shop cuddly toy of quite astonishing charmlessness – a perfect match for our excruciating medieval-themed opening ceremony, and indeed for a couple of the players on that England team. For London 2012’s mascot, we have one option that would match Beijing’s Jingjing the Panda for cuteness, but it might reduce our Capital’s gravitas to admit that 3 million of us voted Boris the Floppy-Haired Spaniel into City Hall. Instead, the Olympic committee have launched a nationwide search for a new mascot, challenging design agencies to come up with a ‘new concept’. We’re not helped, of course, by the fact that the only animals people really associate with London are pigeons and rats. An urban fox is a possibility, I suppose: a scrawny animal with a half-eaten kebab dangling out of its mouth would certainly be an honest animal to associate with Londoners, but it might not sell a huge number of soft toys. There have been some poor mascots in the past – notably the appropriately named ‘Whatizit’ from Atlanta 1996, described by NBC sports anchor Bob Costas as ‘a genetic experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong’. If the farce of London 2012’s spiky pink logo is anything to go by, we could be in for a torrid time. Banksy ‘act of vandalism’ graffiti to be removed When is graffiti no longer an unwanted eyesore? Answer: when it’s a Banksy original worth hundreds of thousands of pounds. Still, that doesn’t stop Westminster City Council from taking a scrubbing brush to the art work daubed on the side of the post office building on Newman Street. The reasoning behind the removal? “If you condone this then you condone graffiti all over London” is the rather lamentable justification. New networking site for Londoners Forget MySpace and Facebook, now Londoners can meet up online at the networking site ‘Together for London’ dot org www.togetherforlondon.org to share their thoughts and ideas about the city. Launched by Transport for London the featured campaigns are largely to do with travel – and being considerate towards fellow commuters on the Central Line. But there’s ample message board space to have a rant about common irritants: people who play their music too loudly, shout into their mobile phones and, let’s not forget, the free newspapers left lying about. ‘Together for London’ or ‘Rant About City Living’? Lots of entries for new Routemaster design For those who didn’t follow the London mayoral elections closely you could be forgiven for thinking that Boris got voted in on one issue alone: the promised return of the much loved Routemaster bus. In fact, the old open-platform buses aren’t just being brought back, they’re being built to a new design. Ideas put forward for the new design have flooded in with a competition offering £25,000 for the winner. There’s an electronically-powered version, one with SatNav (let’s hope it doesn’t automatically divert to avoid traffic hotspots) and one with a ‘smile’, ah, say ‘cheese’. December 2008 23rd December January is on the Horizon 20th December Merry Christmas November 2008 26th November All The World's A Stage 20th November Surviving the Crunch October 2008 24th October Boris v Jingjing 17th October Soaps in Pole Position September 2008 23rd September Chips too Chavvy for Chelsea 16th September The London Restaurant Awards August 2008 26th August No Smoking, No Ducks, No Barbecues 20th August The Olympics July 2008 24th July Sandwiched Out 17th July The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3 June 2008 26th June Love All at Wimbledon 16th June Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant May 2008 27th May Booze Banned on Buses 20th May Same Again? April 2008 23rd April By George 11th April Back to the 80s March 2008 28th March How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea? 20th March Flight Fantastic February 2008 20th February Dark, Satanic Turnmills 6th February A Diamond in the Drink January 2008 21st January People Wanted for Plinth 14th January Boo! Hiss! December 2007 28th December Tate That - A Hirst for Art 20th December Christmas Shopping November 2007 27th November Mind the Gap 26th November London On A Tray October 2007 26th October Leaving the Station 14th October The Sky's the Limit September 2007 26th September The Play Within A Play 19th September Fashion, Frocks and Celeb Shocks 12th September Saying Tanks for the Mammaries August 2007 24th August Heathrow under Siege 17th August Gormless 10th August Losing Face July 2007 24th July Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer? 13th July Red Ken versus Blonde Boris June 2007 22nd June Last Orders at the Fag Machine 11th June London the Musical May 2007 21st May What Lurks Beneath 10th May The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of April 2007 27th April London’s Walk on the Wild Side 20th April Stand Behind the Yellow Line 13th April Like Water for Chocolate March 2007 23rd March So, Another Magazine 16th March Avoiding iContact February 2007 23rd February Sex and Art... 16th February C-Charge Protest Fails to Bring Down Government 9th February Live Earth London January 2007 26th January A Vote for Shilpa is a Vote for Britain 18th January Carriage on up the West End December 2006 29th December Food for Thought 22nd December A Poisonous Marketing Campaign 15th December In for a Penny, In for Five Pounds November 2006 17th November Big Department Stores Leave Santa Out in the Cold 10th November Failing to Save the World October 2006 27th October Frozen Prawns and Melting Icecaps 20th October Predatory Pelicans and Happy Woodland Folk 13th October Hope at last for east end of Oxford Street September 2006 16th September Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back 9th September Of Poles and Twiglets August 2006 25th August Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable 11th August London Friendly 4th August Archway To Organic Heaven July 2006 21st July London - Celebrity Frat House 7th July Out of the Galleries into the Streets June 2006 23rd June Mayors, Nightmares and Marias 16th June Downright Rude in Paris and London 9th June Enter the Inferno May 2006 26th May Curvaceous Border 12th May Vegging Out April 2006 21st April The Camden Crawl 17th April Down the Pan 13th April I Want to Break Free 9th April Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere 7th April Don't Box Me In March 2006 24th March Political Correctness Reaches New Heights February 2006 24th February A Stadium's Tale: Cup Final Goes West 17th February Modern Musicals are Rubbish 10th February The City-Side Alliance January 2006 20th January February Sales 20th January Moby Sick 13th January Glass Half Full 3rd January Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers December 2005 22nd December January Bites 16th December A Remarkable Year November 2005 25th November And a Partridge in a JCB 11th November Driving Miss Sadie 4th November Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin October 2005 28th October Trick or Treat? 21st October We Don't Mind a Little Delay... 14th October Final Resting Place for Young British Artists September 2005 16th September Just a small urn for me, please barman 9th September DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!